Story
When the conversation turns to grandchildren, Natasza Yazepchuk always has tears in her eyes. Because, to put it mildly, they've had a very difficult life. Mainly because most of their childhood was spent without proper care. They lived neglected, often undernourished, and when they were sick, they didn't receive medication. Moreover, Natasza, as a single mother raising four of her own children, just before the war in Ukraine had to also take care of six grandchildren.
Their mother, Luba, was 33 when she became pregnant with her sixth child. She supported the household while her husband showed little interest in taking on any work, preferring to stay at home, smoke, and drink. He considered raising children solely as the wife's duty and didn't particularly concern himself with their well-being. Luba didn't tolerate her last pregnancy well. When she was admitted to the hospital for delivery, doctors had to perform a cesarean section. The child was born healthy, but the mother died a month after giving birth.
Losing her daughter was a shock for Natasza. She knew that either she would take care of her grandchildren, or they would all end up in orphanages. Fortunately, Luba had only had a traditional marriage with their father, so, according to Ukrainian law, they weren't officially married. This made it easier for Natasza to become their legal guardian. After the court's decision, she was able to create a new home for them. From then on, she took care of her own children and her daughter's children.
That's why it's sometimes hard for her not to get emotional. In Warsaw, she sent all the school-age children and grandchildren to school. Yet, her heart breaks when they approach her one by one, saying, "Grandma, give me 5 złoty for candies," "Grandma, give me 2 złoty for a lollipop," "Grandma, Grandma," and she doesn't have enough to give them all.
When she and the children arrived in Poland, she had no doubt that she would have to find a job. Fortunately, she found a place at the Foundation Towards Dialogue. She immediately started working, and there is not a single day she doesn't come to the office. Of course, first, she has to send each child to school one by one, pack their backpacks, and make sandwiches. She finishes her day only when each grandchild returns to the facility one by one, she undresses them, unpacks their backpacks, and serves dinner. Each day is like that. Sometimes she thinks that her destiny is to take care of others. After all, that's why she works: to educate them all and make it easier for them someday.
She has a technical secondary school diploma. Back then, in the 1970s, it was quite a decent education for a girl from the Romani community. Her parents had nothing against her education, and her mother even encouraged her to study for as long as possible. Natasza's mother was full of contradictions, open, though living according to tradition, modern, though respecting her culture. She also finished school, was literate, enabled education for each of her six children, and worked for it all her life. Together with her father, they had a farm, cows, and pigs. She was an enterprising, strong woman. "She was wonderful! I think she was out of this world," Natasza says.
Despite her education, in western Ukraine Natasza led a "Romani life, as she calls it. What does that mean? She only worked in the summer, travelled for seasonal work, mainly fruit picking in Poland, earned as much as she could to spend winter with her family. And it went like that for many years. Husband? For most of her life, she was single. She has two older daughters from her first marriage, but her husband passed away. She became a widow early. For over 22 years, she managed on her own. Then she met her second husband, and gave birth to two sons, but it turned out he wasn't the best partner, so she left him. "I thought to myself, since I'm working, supporting the household, giving birth, and raising children, what do I need a man for?" she jokes today. Friends often asked her how she managed with such a large family, schools, pre-schools, work, but Natasza led an independent and satisfying life, and that drove her.
That's why she sometimes feels sorry for Luba, thinking about how she spent so many years with the father of Olena’s grandchildren. What this experience surely taught her is that life is short, and she tries to instil this approach in her daughters. If someone doesn't respect them, she doesn’t let them waste their time for that person. Those times are long gone, and in this aspect, Natasza says she can be called a feminist, very well.
War entered her life when she fought for the right to care for her grandchildren, barely a month after Luba's death. If it weren't for the condition of one of the boys, she would have left Ukraine immediately. But he had pneumonia and very weak immunity - they weren’t at all sure whether he would recover. Moreover, he was a child with a disability, barely moving on his own then, always needing specialized care. Natasza waited every day for his condition to improve so that she could find a new, safe place for the family somewhere in Poland. They succeeded in July 2022.
How are they doing? They feel quite at home because Natasza knows the language quite well and understands a lot - after all, she had been coming to Warka or Grójec for years. Working at the Foundation opened her up to people. As soon as she sees a Romani family somewhere on the street or in a store, she immediately approaches them, introduces herself, and asks if everything is okay with them, or if she can help in any way.
Because she can't help but be a proud Romani first, then a Ukrainian. What does that mean? It means that she respects her origin and traditions, and the most important thing for her is respect for family, elders, and other human beings in general. This is what she tries to pass on to her children and grandchildren. She doesn't think about herself, she just wants them to fare well in the future. The greatest happiness for Natasza would be if, many, many years from now, when she is no longer here, her grandchildren would speak of her as she speaks today about her mother. "She was wonderful! She was out of this world".
The views and conclusions expressed in the text represent the author's opinions and do not necessarily reflect the official position of the Heinrich Böll Foundation.